My first entry

While it may seem like I am a friendly person, I have always been scared of talking to girls. Maybe I have come a long way since elementary school, but maybe I haven't. It's easy for me to have short 20 second discussion with girls in passing, but after that I start losing it. I also don't like to visit the girls' house, or a girls' room. It's mainly because I don't want to "send signals" that I don't mean...and maybe I'm a big scardy cat.

In fifth grade I loved being friends with everyone. It was great. It didn't matter if that person was black, chinese, white, girl, boy, whatever. One day that changed. I was playing soccer with my two guy friends, Alex and Fouzi, on a field in my development, when one of my friendgirls, Anna, drove up (her dad was driving) and asked me if I wanted to go to laser park for her birthday in ten minutes. Without a thought, I said, "sure", and hopped in the car leaving my two guy fiends playing soccer by themselves. Back then though, I didn't realize I was just leaving my two friends behind. Laser tag was great though. I had fun and ate free pizza. I also got to spend time with one of my best friends at the time who just so happened to be a girl. Before this point, we would play super nintendo, make time boxes with our treasured posessions, bike around the neighborhood. So I had a good time.

The next day after school at EDP (Extended Day Program for students whose parents are at work), I sat with my friends Alex and Fouzi and some other guy friends, just expecting a normal day. All of a sudden Alex and my friends started shouting, "Benjie likes Anna", and, "Benjie and Anna sitting in a tree..." IT WAS SO TRAUMATIZING. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. When I think back on it, I think Alex was getting me back for ditching him for laser tag. But all I could do was hide my head in my hands and say, "No, no, it's not true, I don't like Anna." I was even crying. Tears were coming out of my eyes. I really liked being friends with Anna, but I never considered girlfriend status, I never even had thought of having a girlfriend. Eventually my friends stopped when I started crying, but it was sooo embarrassing.

Unfortunately, I don't remember hanging out with Anna as much after that. It probably was a combination of this event and that I moved out of the neighborhood. I also stopped having friends that were girls until like, late high school. But sometimes I miss Anna, and the other friends that I have lost. It's too bad it was like this, but I guess I wasn't mature enough to handle this situation any other way, just hide my head in my hands and cry. So yeah... girls make things complicated. Just kidding, they're great people, great to hang out with, great to talk to. I'm still cautious to visit the girls' suite next door, or girls' house on college avenue by myself, but I'll tag along if someone else is visiting. One day I would like to return to the carefree mindset I had when I was ten, it's too bad adult life just isn't that simple.