Miscommunication

I got a haircut today because my hair was getting long, and it was one of the worst haircuts I've ever gotten. It's too short on the sides, too long on the top, and it makes me look like Will Smith from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. That sounds okay, but this is 2009 not the 90's. I'm really upset with myself. It's easy to blame the barber, but getting haircuts have always been tough for me. Every time I walk into some barber shop I get asked what I want, and I struggle to respond. I say something along the lines of, "I want a regular haircut, shorter, my hair is long, make it short." And I guess that leaves the barber baffled because every time I walk out of the barber shop I have a different variation of short hair. Sometimes I like it, and sometimes I don't like it. But it's becoming a real problem because I can just never seem to get exactly what I want. In the end, I'm really upset with myself because I have such bad communication skills, a weakness which is manifested in my bad haircut.

While a bad haircut seems kind of trivial, my inability to get what I want is a problem. Now, I usually have gotten what I want in my lifetime, but I just wonder how much more I could have had if I just communicated better. What did I miss out on? Maybe I would have gotten even more A's if I talked to my teachers more, or a better research project if I communicated with my professor more, or a better relationship with my grandparents if I attempted to talk to them in Chinese. Anyways, communication is important, and yet I still have this urge to save my words... and my breath. I don't know why. Maybe it's shyness.

The past few years I have started talking a lot. One of my biggest fears is being misunderstood, and so I've made an effort to always say everything I need to say. And it has been helpful because I know more people, I know my friends better, and people know me better.

But I'm still not perfect yet. The day I can consistently get the haircut I want is when I can finally say that I am a communication master.
Note to self: Don't stop talking!